Dear Mom.

Dear Mom,

How are you handling COVID in Korea? I assume you still live in Korea, but I honestly do not know where you are living. I do not even know if you are still alive, actually. However, today I am going to assume you are both alive and living in Korea. I heard Korea is doing really well with the pandemic – probably the decades of habit in wearing a mask really helped. And the homogenous culture. In Louisville, Kentucky, it was as controlled as it could be for a little while. But then people started getting antsy and making “wearing a mask” a political statement or protest and our numbers have increased. My husband and I do not go out much. We were homebodies before the pandemic but we certainly are even more so now, uncomfortably so.

I suppose I’m small talking at the moment because I’m not sure where to start with my letter to you, and current events seems like a global thing to talk about. I have recently been involved in the adult adoptee community online. It has basically given me a purpose in life. Prior to the pandemic, I lived my life without any kind of community. I stopped going to church because it has been a painful process of understanding my time at my college ministry. It was a cult. I was in a cult. So I took a step back after being in several ministries for 13 years of my life.

So back to the adoptee community. Did you know there is such a thing? Where adoptees from all over the world use social media to communicate and build friendships? It’s amazing. If there was one thing that came from this pandemic, it was this community coming into my life. We talk about things that only other adoptees understand in similar ways. Abandonment. Rejection. Identity. Racism. Of course there are so many people who understand these issues, but adoptees GET these issues to our core.

What kind of community do you have in your life? Do you know any other birth moms? I know the culture of single mothers is so different in Korea and very much not accepted by society. I hate this about Korean culture. Ultimately, it seems to be a huge reason why mothers relinquish a child.

I hope to hear from you soon. Some days I have hope to meet you and other days, I feel the impossible weight of our separation. I hope you are well.


Kang So Yung, 강소영